Journal 9/8/05-9/11/05

***Due to military policy, I will not reveal movement dates until they have long been completed, times, unit strength, or identification. Everything expressed in this blog is the opinion and observation of the author.**

September 8, 2005

2017 hrs

Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

I’ve just completed our first road march.  Slow pace.  Very short.  About 2.5 miles.  Everyone feels good and it was nice to do something as a group.  The motivation is still high.  It was a fairly forgettable day.  The morning was filled with moving Box A to Location B and then back again.  The afternoon was occupied with a SINCGAR radio class.  Quite possibly one of the most important classes we’ve had thus far.  (And I’m not just saying that because it’s part of my job.)

I’m now sitting in our orderly room taking my turn at CQ.  (Every night 2 people are required to stay in the orderly room from 1900-2200 in case someone calls or paperwork needs to be done. )  I originally was supposed to be exempt from the road march because of my CQ duties.  But since so many people are sick, I thought it would be nice to ask one of those sick people in my platoon to stay back for the hour long march.  Therefore making them exempt instead of me.

Tomorrow we receive our new desert boots.  Suede tan leather instead of the black smooth leather we’ve been used to.  To break them in, we’ll be having another road march in the afternoon.  I just hope that I wrote down the correct boot size.

September 9, 2005

2240 hrs

Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

The day started with a visit to the Central Issuing Facility (CIF) on post.  We were fitted and supplied desert gear including (but not limited to) new desert uniforms, boots, and hats.  We also received our body armor.  What a pain that thing is.  The metal plating on the front and rear of your torso makes it a good candidate for posture control.  I can understand the importance of it, but my body is still getting used to lugging around that extra weight.

Since we’re heading out to the field tomorrow morning for an estimated 34 days, our new boots are a concern.  To try and break them in we went on another road march today.  I will admit they are extremely comfortable for boots fresh out of the box.  Unfortunately, I have developed a blister on my right foot that may cause me trouble once we move out tomorrow.

Since they’re still sewing on our name tapes and patches onto the new uniforms, we are walking around post in green uniforms with desert tan boots.  Kind of odd looking I must admit but it’s standard procedure for any unit coming through this installation.  It’s odd how you can tell how long each company has been here just by looking at what they’re wearing.  Green uniform with black boots = 2 weeks or less.  Green uniform with tan boots = 2 weeks.  Desert tan uniform with tan boots = 1 month.

Looking down at my desert boots, I start feeling a sort of panic overwhelm me.  Straping on the body armor made me even more terrified.  Every little step we make towards getting in country makes the reality set in harder and harder.

To top off the day, someone had the brilliant idea of holding a mandatory movie tonight as a “treat”.  So we all gathered into a room and watched “We Were Soldiers” with Mel Gibson.  Never mind that we all still had to pack for the next month.  Never mind that we all had laundry to do.  Never mind that phone calls needed to be made in case our cell phones don’t work in the field.  A perceived good deed has actually done the opposite.  Now I’m hurrying to complete my daily journal so that I can pack up my computer with the rest of the crap I’ll be bringing with me.

With 0500 creeping up on me, I do believe I should get my 6 hours of sleep and call it a day.  It certainly has been a long one.  And now that we’re all getting nose deep in this mess, I’m sure there will be many many more of these days to come.

September 10, 2005

1806 hrs

FOB (Forward Operating Base) War Eagle
Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

Our first day in the FOB is nearly complete.  The morning came too early and the night has come too late.  It’s hard for me to gage how difficult this next month will be.  Considering the way my body feels right now, I can only guess it’s gonna be hell.  Mind you, we didn’t actually do anything extremely physical.  Besides loading all our gear and walking to and from our sleeping tent to a classroom, we really didn’t have too much strenuous activity.  But strap on some body armor and,  Oh my goodness!  This body armor will be the end of me.  Not only is it making me extremely claustrophobic, but it’s causing odd shooting pains throughout my shoulders, neck, head, and hands.  It gets to the point where it’s unbearable.  I am very worried about this turn of events.  What will happen when we have to actually start running around with these things?  Not to mention we haven’t even been issued our weapons yet (more on that to come).  The only thing I can think of is that my shoulders have always been very tight… knotty if you will.  I rarely allow massages because they hurt me more than anything else.  So I’m thinking all that extra weight on my shoulders (about 30 lbs) is pushing down so hard on the muscles that its pinching all those knots that have been building up over the years.  I can only hope that after a week of enduring the pain, they will eventually loosen up and I’ll be able to function without choking down the pain.

Here at FOB War Eagle, training exercises are constantly going on.  There are watch towers, fox holes, barbed wire, and security gates.  Below every sign is the Arabic equivalent written next to it.  They have a staff of 20 “middle eastern” civilians.  Some are American while others are actually from Iraq.  They make up a group of people we call OP4 or Opposing Force.  Since we’ve been here today, there have been two bombings (a loud artillery thud can be heard nearby, shaking the floors and making you jump).  When these shells go off, we were instructed to yell “incoming!” and hit the ground.  We would then make a dash to the nearest bunker which are large concrete rectangles scattered across the base.  We have been told to stay in the bunker until an “all clear” is called or 20 minutes after the last shot is heard.

We’ve also heard several fire fights next to our barracks.  The rat tat tat tat of the  M16 and AK-47 can be heard in abundance.  Even though blanks are being used in the FOB, the sound and feeling of emergency is very realistic.  Sitting in my bunker, I wish that I had a weapon on me.

Our weapons, apparently, won’t arrive until the 14th.  For once the military actually has a good reason for the delay.  Instead of the normal M16 rifle, we will all be issued the M4 rifle.  The weapon functions precisely the same as it’s bigger brother but has a shortened muzzle and butt-stock.  This makes it a few pounds lighter which may make a huge difference.  Unfortunately, this also makes the accuracy lower than the M16.  I’ll be honest… I’ve never actually seen an M4 up close.  I’ve never even touched one.  I have no idea how our qualification will go.  I have a sinking feeling it’ll be long and difficult.

It’s now 20:30 hrs.  We’ve had 5 incoming shells since I began this entry.  I can tell this is gonna be a long long month.

September 11, 2005

1943 hrs

FOB War Eagle
Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

Today is a Sunday.  I didn’t actually realize that until just now.  It strikes me as odd how we name the days of the week.  At this moment in my life Sundays, Fridays, and Thursdays don’t exist.  Every day is a Wednesday.  Every day is just like the last.  Every day you wake up the same way as the previous one.  Numbers are all that matter.  Today is the 11th of September, or today is our 12th day at Ft. McCoy.  The goal is to get to the point where we can start adding up days towards our mandatory deployment time.  Right now the count is at 0 and will stay that way until we can get into the middle east.

The briefings they give us in the mornings are peppered with motivational “music videos”.  They show jets blazing across the screen or troops storming through the desert and village streets, usually tracked with testosterone filled metal or hard rock/rap songs.  My “favorite” was a particularly angst filled “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” ensemble showing how much destructive force our military actually has.  I’m not sure if I should condemn them or not.  My initial reaction is to scoff at the effort… at the way they package destruction and death as something desirable.  Then again…  the way the world is run right now, someone’s gotta do all this ungodly killing.  It’s hard for me to find a line within myself right now.  I’m still in some unusual transitioning stage from a strong minded, opinionated feminist to a soldier going to Iraq.  What?  Can you get any more polar opposite than that?

All these things keep building up within me.  This feeling that I shouldn’t be here is creeping in on me.  Odd things through out the day trigger this feeling.  Looking at the plywood and 2 x 4’s in my tent….looking down at my tan boots…feeling the suffocation of my body armor….filling my canteens with water.  All these things give me a gut wrenching twist.  Perhaps I’m just mistaking it for home sickness or the nervousness of being deployed.  I guess I can only take it one Wednesday at a time.

p.s.  I refuse to make any comment about it being 9/11.

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