Journal 9/12/05-9/14/05

Posted by Ms. Babble

September 14, 2005

***Due to military policy, I will not reveal movement dates until they have long been completed, times, unit strength, or identification. Everything expressed in this blog is the opinion and observation of the author.**

September 12, 2005

2007 hrs

Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

Iâ€™m actually back at the barracks right now. Civilization. A shower. Pizza. It all feels great to enjoy the things you take for granted. They pulled us from the field for a few hours to relax and get away from all the muck, sweat, and gun fire at FOB War Eagle. As it so happens, thereâ€™s a Monday night football game on and most of the company is watching it right now at a church down the street. I would much rather spend this time in quiet solitude with myself.

They took me out of the field this early this morning too. For some stupid reason I told the Army I was allergic to bee stings. Twice while I was in high school I was stung in my hand. Both times my hand swelled to the size of a melon. So I figured it would be a good thing for people to know that if it happens again, I may need to get some benadryl or something. No no noâ€¦ the military tells me I have to carry around an Epinephrine auto injector pen on me at all times. This is the kind of thing you give people when they have such a severe allergic reaction, theyâ€™re breathing stops. So of course I conveniently â€œlostâ€ my Epi Pen for fear someone would stab me in the ass with it in a panic making my heart rate sky rocket and cause a heart attack or something. Well, yesterday I got caught without it and was sent to a clinic on post to get one. I talked to the doctor who asked me to describe my reaction to bee stings. He confirmed that I would not need to use the Epinephrine but would give me one anyways just in case I needed to administer it to someone else. Ugh. So now I still have to carry around this big tube in my right pocket at all times. So is my luck.

Not too much happened worth noting. More gun fire and bombs back at the FOB. Soon itâ€™ll be our turn to attack back. Iâ€™m fairly excited for that to start happening. I guess it all still feels like a big game to me. (As Iâ€™m sure most everyone else is feeling as well.) I canâ€™t imagine getting excited about killing someoneâ€¦ no matter how good or bad they may be.

September 13, 2005

1827 hrs

FOB War Eagle

Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

Things feel like they are in total disarray. Rumors are flying about how long weâ€™ll be here (anywhere from 14-39 days). People are saying that we arenâ€™t even required to be here. Our weapons havenâ€™t arrived and we might be getting them tomorrow. But who knows. Being the Army, everything always changes. I keep thinking Iâ€™ll get used to being in the darkâ€¦ surviving off speculation and rumorâ€¦ but it has yet to sit well with me. Itâ€™s hard for me to be this flowing dust ball not caring any which way it floats to. My days and future need to have some sort of purpose. I understand that the ultimate goal is to get to Iraq and get home. But on a smaller scale, I donâ€™t understand exactly what needs to be done in order to start that endeavored.

Todayâ€™s purpose was to learn how to use the Armyâ€™s version of a GPS handheld devise called a PLGR (pronounced â€œpluggerâ€). I had initially learned to use it during my initial training in 2000, so a refresher was definitely welcome. The thing is fantastic. Virtually indestructible, this device is the most accurate form of global positioning.

While I was running the little mini PLGR course they had set up, it started down poring. This will be the second day in a row that torrential rain has consumed us. With the rain came lighteningâ€¦ with the lightening came a â€œno helmet, no body armor, no weapon, no PTâ€ rule. Fantastic! With the rain also came a complete cease fire and the FOB is silent. I can feel the muscles in my shoulders and back relax from not wearing body armor and not worrying about another bomb being dropped. Iâ€™m getting a feel for what this sort of relief would feel like if I was in a real war setting.

Iâ€™m beginning to really feel the stress of not playing music. The desire within me is almost uncontrollable at times. Besides this journal, I feel like I have no creative output here. I have no flow. I canâ€™t even keep up with the Combat Baby project. The heart of this project is talking, writing, and communicating with different people from all over the world: England, Poland, Australia, Israel, Canadaâ€¦ and of course all across the United States, just to name a few. These people were the heart and soul of Combat Baby. Now that Iâ€™m cut off from all that, I feel totally in the dark. I feel like Iâ€™m letting everyone down. I would always make a point to write every single person back who sent me a message. (Even if it took a couple of days). Now Iâ€™m on this abandoned islandâ€¦ more than enough necessities here to sustain me but nothing to make me â€œaliveâ€. Totally cut off.

September 14, 2005

2200 hrs

FOB War Eagle

Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

Another day, another dollar. I woke an hour earlier than the others because I was told to go back to the processing station for some reason or other. To be honest, I was a little worried. All they told me was that some paperwork was messed up or something. So it was back to civilization again for me. As it turns out, I only needed to pick up my red medical I.D. dog tag. Talk about another moronic thing the military makes me where, the tag read â€œWears Contact Lensesâ€. What? Who cares! So, I was in the rear for a few hours drinking coffee and hanging out with the people that got wisdom teeth pulled.

Today also started some mysterious stomach pains. And yes Iâ€™ve been pooping everyday, thank you very much! Thereâ€™s a nagging, throbbing pain that has been building throughout the day that I can only chalk up to stress. I just hope it stays under control. For me to miss any training, I would be behind everyone else and have to do it all alone.

Our weapons also arrived late this afternoon. Some how our unit acquired the M4 carbines. Very light. Very mobile. Right now weâ€™re the envy of the FOB. We seem to be the only unit out here (or in all of Ft. McCoy) with these fantastic little weapons.

Iâ€™m sure thereâ€™s more to say on this day. Iâ€™ll need to evaluate this stomach pain. I should go into some of the training we did today. But to be honest, Iâ€™m beat. Itâ€™s 45 degrees in this tent and all I want to do is curl up inside my sleeping bag. Till tomorrow.

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