Journal 10/6/05-10/10/05

1800 hrs

Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

Today is day 37 at Ft. McCoy. But officially day zero in the big book of deployment. Time is starting to be very short here. In a few weeks, we’ll be in a plane off to an undisclosed location. We’ll be told to start packing and then onto a long flight. No phone calls. No outside communication…until we are at our destination. It’s understandable why they would do this. Shit… I wouldn’t trust anyone in the company (including myself) with such information. Especially if it concerns the safety of everyone. All we know is the end of this month and to the middle east.

The November weather has finally turned up here. A high of 48 is all we got today. The leaves are turning and falling…just as they do every year in the beautiful Midwest. It’s funny looking around and realizing I won’t be seeing this season again until 2007. My favorite season. Autumn. The shutting down of life. The dying and the eventual renewal. The fresh cold air and crunching of breath. It’s sad and invigorating all at once. No other season has this bipolar power.

We were outside all day today firing at a reflexive fire range. That is, shooting standing up with targets at 7, 15, and 20 meters away. Very, very close compared to what we usually qualify on… 50-300 meter targets. It was more challenging than I anticipated. But I scored near perfect and chalked it up as just another experience.

I’m starting to feel comfortable here. Well… not comfortable in a sense that my body doesn’t hurt anymore or I’m getting enough sleep…no. Comfortable in a sense that I’m getting used to Ft. McCoy. I’m getting used to the routine. I have my little space. My little niche. Even the level of bitching has gone down throughout the company. In 2 weeks, it’ll be off to a foreign country. A foreign country. Just typing that made me realize that I’ve never been outside the warm comfort of the United States. (And the 3 hours I spent in Tijuana doesn’t count!) Across a vast sea. A time zone difference of 8 hours. 8 hours! The sun won’t be blazing across Lake Michigan until I’ve been subjected to it for 8 hours! A full day’s work in the United States. Wow. The moon… the stars… the air… it will all be foreign. That’s such a mind-blowing thought to me. I wonder if anyone else feels the enormity of this revelation.

2017 hrs

Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin

When I go to sleep every night I listen to the same albums. There are only four that I constantly migrate back to without fail. Only four that have some sort of relaxing effect on me. By the time the last note plays on any one of these albums, I’m in the deepest sleep. For some reason they create a sort of security blanket around me. Amongst all the worry, pain, and insecurity of a day here, I know I’ll have these four albums to escape into every night.

Death Cab for Cutie: Transatlanticism

PJ Harvey: To Bring You My Love

Tegan and Sara: So Jealous

Wilco: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

The last two nights it’s been Wilco. The night prior it was Tegan & Sara. And for my first two weeks here, I couldn’t get enough of Death Cab for Cutie… every night. Is this unusual? I have no idea. All I know is that I hold these albums very dear to me. My little constant in a sea of madness.