Making Smores
I’ve finished my move to tent city. All of my belongings are packed into a duffle bag and ruck sack. When I sat down on my cot last night and surveyed my baggage I asked K, “Isn’t it amazing that our life for the last 12 months fit into two bags?” I had lost site of how simply a person can live.Â
I have the distinct feeling of camping. For a moment last night I thought I was in Wisconsin with the way the air smelled and the birds chirped. There are some really large trees running along our tent area and they only add to the ambience. Someone made a lovely wooden gazebo next to our tents and I can imagine families gathering here to celebrate a wedding or birthday or baby shower. But alas, I’m still in Iraq.
I’ll be living like a hobo for the next couple of weeks as we await the arrival of our replacements and then our flight outa here. Not much will be expected of me once the new folks arrive. I’ll train the new commo section for a few days and then step back.Â
Today is my day off and I have nothing to do. It bothers me when I have nothing to do. So, I have an idea of how I’ll feel when they are here and taking control of everything; ansy, territorial, and nosey. But I think it’s understandable considering this has been our home for a year. We’ve spent more hours than I can imagine working our jobs and trying to improve things. I’m sure the last thing we want is for someone else to come in here and fuck it all up. But like a parent to a child, we have to let go of the reins and walk away at some point.
I did a lot of thinking of what will come and who I’ll be. It left me feeling a sort of panic in not knowing the future. I’m afriad that this experience has pushed me too far out of understanding other people. I have developed this sort of elitist attitude and feel myself getting annoyed at the concerns of other people… as if they’re nothing compared to where I have been. After talking to E last night, I’m afraid that I won’t ever recover from accepting that each opinion, emotion, or experience of someone else is completely valid. I’m already turning into this old stubborn fart who doesn’t want to see past what I have experienced. The last year has knocked me out of my orbit.
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