Never in America
Teeny tiny miniscule cars. They will never ever ever ever make it in America. At least not in my lifetime.
What would you say to the guy/gal driving down the highway in one of these bad boys? Snicker? Openly point and laugh? Shout obsenities to the likes of, “Holy %*$. I could crush that &*^$# with the tip of my &*#!” Maybe all of the above?
But the truth is that American’s are threatened by small spaces. We were born in the massive expanses of our amazing country. We like to stretch out, scratch ourselves, and yawn in comforting space. We wanna jump in our cars and drive for hours in any direction we damn well please without the worry of being crushed by a semi. We want room in our cars to flick people off and have sex in the back if we so feel inclinded.
It’s not that we don’t care about the environment. We do. We understand that these cars get something like 5 billion miles to the gallon. We know that they’re perfectly suited for our ever increasing global temperature… for the icecaps that are melting… for the life that is draining out of mother earth with every oil well.
But American’s are vain.
Even after highschool, we still care about image. A vast majority of us wouldn’t be caught dead driving one of these cars. Why? Because they’re dorky. Bottom line. American’s are assholes like that. We wanna stretch out and look cool while we’re at it.
So, while I was in Israel, I saw a handful of these “Smart Cars”. I squealed like a little girl every time! If they had a parking lot with a bunch of these little cars lined up as a tourist attraction, I would have totally paid money to see it. ESPECIALLY if they had someone driving it in little Smart Car circles or something. Just add a roller coaster, some Mickey Mouse ears, and I think there may be some real money in a place like that.
Popularity: 13% [?]
Other Posts You May Enjoy!
Comments
I’m with Betsy on this one. Call me a dork. Not that betsy’s a dork…well, maybe she is, but that isn’t the point. What was my point? Oh yeah, I like the car.
Simone Rubin on 
Keith on 
I just wanted to let you know that i did in fact see a “smartcar” on 88 the other day… it flew past me going 70 miles an hour and the first thing out of my mouth was “holy shit!” and i giggled. i would LOVE to have one of those. i would relish the looks on the faces of the elitist bastards driving around Napervile.