Vile Cesspool of Sin: Journal 12/12/06
Dear Las Vegas:
Thank you for a lovely trip but I must say, you sure are a sinking pit of madness. Forgive my bluntness but you really need to do something about those slot machines. People are supposed to win money on them eventually, right? Also, your buffets really aren’t all they’re bragged to be. At least it made me feel like I was back at home in the military. (Food in troughs, unusual colors/smells, long line of fatties, etc.)
On a more serious note, do light poles really need 50 stripper cards rubber banded to them? I mean really. There’s enough pollution in the city without needing tradeable stripper cards scattered in the gutters. But now they’ve got all these baseball size glossies littered everywhere. Who cleans them up? WHO?? The bums? The crazies? tisk tisk.
Lastly, I appreciate you making me feel welcome by offering me free Heinekins everywhere but why the hell should I pay for a valet to flag down a taxi for me? My hand works just as well as his. Free booze… pay for a flag down. I think they’ve got it backwards. Maybe I should just wear one of those cute little red jackets like they do.Â
Thank you for making me ache for normalcy and wanting nothing more than the dinging of slot machines to get out of my head.
Sincerely,
Ms. Babble
P.S. See ya next year. 
And now for my Vegas buds:
*fortuna
*zip zip
*choo chooooo!
*where u at?
*Got Milf?
*Those shoes are mine, betch!
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p.s. thank you for bringing up fortuna because i need to get that damn thing translated. it probably says something to the effect of “save your money, dumbass” four different ways.
Thanks for not having me be the only one with a “I can’t belive you did that moment.”
Simone Rubin on 
Keith on 
also:
1)you got your wallet?
2)i will refrain from typing what you said on the plane with that scarf on your head. i will say instead “pancake! pancake!”