It’s that time of the year…
…(or semester, rather) that essay due dates are piled on top of each like varsity football players. I’m the wimp on the bottom who fell onto the fumble. A bit crushed. Suffocated. But at least I have a helmet on (and the ball).
I’m far too good at procrastinating. I find that essays give me great motivation to do the dishes, clean the floor, fold laundry, virus scan my computer, and wash out my fish bowl. I’ve gotten a lot done! (Except the one thing that needs to be done.)
Luckily, I’m great in a pinch and can crack out a high caliber essay with minimal time. God bless rhetoric. The key to an “A” essay? Never ever use personal pronouns, always keep the tense consistent, and at least pretend that you know exactly what you’re talking about. Professors will eat this shit up.
I’m just gonna finish washing out my fridge and then get to it.
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if you run out of crap to clean, i have an entire closet that needs reorganizing. just saying.
“An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.”
Likewise, an unpleasant task is useful for doing other unpleasant tasks.
Ahh. A girl after my own heart. Not many people realize how useful procrastination really is. Writing papers under pressure is one of my favorite hobbies, and not for the faint of heart. Thought you might find this interesting:
Simone Rubin on 
Keith on 
In other words, your apartment thanks your instructors for essay requirements?