Technically, I’m starting my third week of class today. But with the four day school weeks and last weeks holidays, I’ve really only attended seven class sessions. In that time I’ve learned two things:

1. Foreign languages are both amusing and stressful. (Flashback to my Thai studies in college.)
2. Even though it seems like your classmates know what they’re doing, they are just as equally freaked out as you are.

I’m trying not to let the school completely overwhelm me since I’d also like to have a life. But there are days when I could easily have been walking home with pens jutting out of my eyes and I wouldn’t know the difference. Needless to say, my (English) writing is in a slump. Both americanbabble.com and patriotmissive.com are suffering from lack of updates, I think. I just need to remind myself that I can only do so much.

The schedule for class is as follows:

  • First hour: Esther (my highly amusing instructor) assaults our ears with conversational Hebrew. (examples: Where are you from? What time is it? Here is a sentence that’s really long and I’m saying very fast so you can’t understand a damn word, etc. )
  • 30 minute break. Bee-line to the coffee machine, bathroom, liquor store…erm…I mean, refill water bottle. Chill with all the cool people in class and interrogate them for strange foreign quirks. Breathe.
  • Second & Third hours: Learn something new. Weep a little when Esther introduces another verb.
  • 10 minute break. Stumble downstairs (class is on the third floor). Wander outside for a few minutes. Breathe.
  • Fourth hour: Writing and Reading. Esther says a word, we go up to the board and spell it. Welcome back to Kindergarten! This is the hour I look forward to all morning. I do surprisingly well at spelling Hebrew words. Don’t ask me what they mean though.

    • Ulpan Gordon, Tel Aviv Empty Class

    Side note about Hebrew verbs, nouns, adjectives…. hell…. just about every word that can possibly be jammed into a sentence. The language is Ãœber gendered, meaning, the words change depending on who you are or who/what you’re talking about.

    Since verbs are a special migraine for me, here’s an example: to speak. It’s simple enough in English, right? You speak. I speak. He speaks. She speaks. Nice and simple.

    In Hebrew, “to speak” changes depending on if you’re a girl/boy, they are a girl/boy, or if there are more than one boys (or girls). ex: To speak (infinitive) = ledabare. to speak girl singular = medaberete. to speak (boy singular) medabere. to speak (girl plural) = medabrote. to speak (boy plural) = medabreem.

    So, instead of memorizing just one verb form like in English, you’re memorizing five.  FIVE forms for one verb.

    Care for me to explain the gendered adjectives and nouns too? I didn’t think so. Regardless, all parts of the sentence (subject, verb, predicate) need to be adjusted to form a gendered harmony in order to be correct.

    This powerful gendered division seems archaic to Ms. Feminist Studies over here. But then again, Hebrew is one of the oldest language in the world. This is the bit where I think languages are amusing. Can I go so far as to say English has a leg up on Hebrew because of its lack of gender divisions? Is this one more reason why English deserves to be the “universal language”?

    I find it pretty cool that I learned all of this plus the complete Hebrew alphabet and can read most words within the first week of class. I guess this language immersion thing really works, eh?

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