A Lush Is Only A Theory In Israel

This may come as a shock, but last night was my first visit to a bar in Tel Aviv. Mind you, this doesn’t mean I’ve been dry for the last month. The liquor selection at the grocery stores and 24 hour shops have been more than sufficient to sustain me. Especially since I seem to be the only one here who enjoys a beer every few days, spending an evening in a bar seemed unnecessary.

Regardless, I’ve been more than satisfied with the beer selection on the shelves here: Heinekin, Carlsburg, Tuborg, etc. And to my complete surprise and joy, I came across Miller (MGD represent!). The store only had four bottles (of which I completely cleared from the shelf), but it was enough for me to feel the familiarity of watered down American brew sliding down my throat for a few days. When I went back the next week, they had another four bottles in the refrigerated case. Again, I cleared them out.

I suspect I’m supporting the import of Miller to Israel. I still haven’t decided if I’m doing Israel a favor or, unwittingly bringing the quality of their alcohol down from that of a filet mignon to a Burger King Whopper.

Liquor is such a non-issue here in Israel. The laws are amazingly lax compared to the United States. A person can legally walk down the street with a bottle of beer and have no fear of being stopped or ticketed.

In fact, just today at a street festival (which I will post pictures of soon), I bought a 32 oz can of Heinekin to sip on while walking around the area. We ended up going inside the mall to get something quickly and I found myself semi-hiding the can of beer as I walked into a music store. Of course, it was perfectly legal for me to enter with an open container of alcohol, but I’ve been hardwired to feel like a criminal in such a situation.

When considering the lack of public drinking laws, I would assume that the Israelis are out of control with inebriation. But it’s actually the complete opposite.

Alcohol is a non-issue in Israel. People just don’t drink like Americans. They don’t need alcohol to socialize. Drinking is more of something to take pleasure from in moderation. In relation to America, it’s not unusual to push the alcohol limits of our bodies. We rely on alcohol to feel relaxed, honest, courageous…. but mostly, I think Americans over-use alcohol because it’s a social crutch.

Either way, I find myself some where in the middle. I enjoy drinking but I don’t feel a need to get “plastered”. When out with friends, I enjoy the flow of conversation that’s rooted in the mutual energy of everyone. Drinking is something that I do expect when socializing but don’t rely on it in in the extreme way that many Americans rely.

Long tangent aside, last night I discovered that many of the bars in Israel can easily be mistaken for porn shops. They’re very dark from the outside and give little indication of what they are. The signs are small and often only written in Hebrew. Sometimes the windows are painted black and other times, the blinds are completely drawn shut. It’s actually easier to find the porn shops here. Those are painted hot pink with neon lights with signs written in English. Seems a little backwards, eh?

A British friend from class and I went to one of these strangely hidden bars in Tel Aviv last night. Opening the black door was a little intimidating. I nearly felt like it would open to an S&M dungeon. But in fact, we entered into a comfortable and clean bar with tables and sofas for patrons to lounge on. We arrived at 8pm. VERY early to Israeli standards. This became abundantly clear since we were the only ones there.

Naturally, I went straight to the bar to order some drinks upon arrival and I’m fairly certain I got my first Israeli “lip service” from the bartender. When trying to order a beer he said to me:

“In Israel, we have something called a ‘waitress’. Are you sitting at a table? I’ll tell her what you want.”

grrr….

In my head I thought, “In America we have something called a middle finger…”, but thought it best to just slink back over to the table and wait for service.

At evenings end, it was a great relief and pleasure to spend an evening with another native English speaker. As I got back home, it finally hit me that it was my first bar excursion since arrival. It was fulfilling in a sense that I had such wonderful company and it also reminded me of times back home.

I think it would be hard for me to shake my American concept of alcohol. But in the end, I don’t think it’s entirely bad. Often times, this is our socializing bond….as long as they keep stocking the MGD.

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