The last few weeks have been mentally taxing for me. Our regular teacher at Ulpan Gordon went to Barcelona for a week with her husband (yeah, kinda nice to be so close to those places, eh?) and we were left with a substitute. I had become accustomed to Esther, the teacher who was with us from the start. The new instructor “attacked” from a completely different angle. A little too hyper and disorganized for my taste. It left me feeling extremely stressed and lost.
When Esther came back this last Monday, I thought the stars would align themselves again. Unfortunately, nothing felt the same inside the classroom.
Most of the people who originally started the course with me appear to have left for one reason or another. (Miss ya, Soph!) They’ve been replaced with people who have an infinitely higher grasp of the Hebrew language than I have. This fact combined with the substitute teacher telling Esther she was going too slow for us, the class feels like it’s in hyper-hyper overdrive. I feel like I’ve been left in the dust.
From day one, I’ve been very hard on myself with this course. I came in barely knowing that the language is written from right to left. I overcame this handicap last few months and am IMMENSELY thrilled that I can read and write Hebrew now. Unfortunately, my comprehension and conversational skills are ridiculously stifled. (Mostly due to an absurd apprehension I’ve developed from attempting to speak Hebrew with native speakers. I’m still trying to figure out how to overcome that mess.)
Sitting in class this last month, I’ve watched most of the class breeze through lessons, memorize verbs and nouns within a few moments, and have full conversations in Hebrew with the instructor. I thought to myself, “Am I really so stupid that these jackalobes can memorize and function with relative ease in Hebrew and I can’t?”. I’ve been stressing over the progress of other people and not just focusing on my personal abilities. It’s a very unproductive ideology to have.
What I’ve decided is that I can only take it one word at a time. I’m not learning for them, dammit.
I finally sat back and analyzed the situation and realized I was doomed to feel this way before it even started. A majority of my classmates had already taken Hebrew courses before and several had taken this exact course twice already. Not to mention, the three month course (4 days a week) is an accelerated version of the five month course (5 days a week). They say that you can enter the classroom without knowing any Hebrew and still succeed. But at what cost? At the cost of going mad and becoming a flaming ball of anxiety?
Not to mention, I haven’t been writing nearly as much as I want to write (both here and on other projects). I credit that from my stress. For shame.
I’ve become very attached to the language and have immeasurable joy climbing the ladder of understanding. Now that I have a basic understanding of how it functions, I’m going to turn it into a puzzle to assemble rather than a race. I’m excited to see how this change of focus may help me during the next month of study.
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7 Users Responded in " What Do You Do When Ulpan Gordon Starts To Kick Your Arse? "
Well I can only tell you this: you can learn Hebrew in five months without any prior knowledge. All one needs to do is study from 7 in the morning to 9 in the evening. The pace is high, ultra-hyper overdrive I’d like to say. I’m encountering similar situations at my Ulpan. I’m in my third month now and have difficulties to keep up with the rest of the class. Of which half has left already because they too had no idea what was going on. As a became more friendly with my classmates I discovered that most of them have been living here from a few years already and because of this have relatively good conversational skills. Like you I’ve decided to do things on my own pace. I participate in class, take notes, etc. and just enjoy the ride. Good luck, we’ll get there!
An added note: How is your Russian?
Wow, ulpan sounds like it’s become even more hardcore! Wish I was there studying with you guys. Happy 4th of July!
@ Chris
Thanks for the encouragement Chris! Sometimes it helps just to know other people are in the exact same boat. And you’re right… we will get there.
As for Russian - I don’t know a word of it. As an American, we’re shamefully ignorant of multilingualism.
jami, you will accomplish anything you set your mind to….I JUST KNOW IT! hey, how do you say ‘i love you’ in hebrew?
×× ×™ ×והבת ×ותך (ani ohevet otach) is how you say ‘I love you’ in Hebrew.
Thanks Mommo!
P.S. Happy 4th!
Well, I can totally sympathize with how you feel….
…I did the same class in Ulpan Gordon 2 years ago and half my class had studied loads of Hebrew before and the other half were from the Former Soviet Union and they didn’t know a word of English, so I ended up being the class translator, as I speak Russian. I thought my head would explode. At the end of the course I still didn’t know how to speak properly. It comes with time. Stick with it, don’t be freaked if the class knows more than you and study like a crazy studying thing at home.
I still have to do that….
About Israelis and language practice - I found that they either want to practice their English with a native speaker or they point out every little mistake so that I couldn’t even say a word. Find yourself a friendly language exchange buddy, or pay for one on one lessons with a private teacher. Worked for me…
Keep going, though… And great blog
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